My art mojo is unbearably unpredictable. I have not yet learned how to overcome the frequent and prolonged dips in motivation that I experience and I think it is because I haven’t found the way in which I want to express myself artistically, at least for now. So, when I am in the mood, I am constantly searching, trying out different ideas and styles, but somehow not stretching my boundaries far enough to stumble upon that anything that sets my soul on fire. Or perhaps I’m lacking imagination…
This is typical of my art practice since I have begun, and is why I have never managed to string together a coherent body of work that is recognisably my own. I have a technical competence but am still searching for a soulfulness to my work.
My goal, set out in March 2020, was to create a series of paintings of different local animals and birds, whilst learning more about them, and using shamanic journeying to learn the lessons each of these creatures has to teach us. I started working with Fox, but after a few months, and not finding a style that worked for me, I moved on to Heron. When I worked shamanically with Heron, I was clearly told that I needed to heed his lesson of patience and focus. Just as he stands and patrols the water’s edge waiting for fish to swim past his feet, I felt that I needed to stay with the Heron.
Since August, I have been drawing and painting herons, learning about them and exploring different ways to depict them.
I have had close encounters with two herons – one in St James’ park in London who stood a few feet away and watched me for quite a while, and another unfortunately dead bird, but one that I was able to touch and explore, unfolding her wings and feeling the weight of her cold body.
So here I am, still working with this animal totem, and knowing I need to go deeper. Here are pictures of the heron studies and pieces I have done since August. Let us see what the new year brings.